Why Developed Countries Are Different from What We Imagine

I have many friends overseas. Among them are professionals, senior government officials, and of course, business contacts. Most of these friendships came from my business network, and over time, my circle slowly expanded. When I first started interacting with these Western friends, they would often ask, out of curiosity, which country I came from. When I told them that I am Malaysian, their reaction was often one of surprise. This question, and their response, made me curious as well.

First, we need to understand how foreigners generally view Asians. In fact, most Asians have never seriously asked themselves this question or tried to look for an answer, myself included. It was only after I had more direct interactions with them, and noticed their surprise when they found out I am Malaysian, that I began to reflect on how Westerners actually see us.

I once asked them directly why they were so surprised. Their response was that I was different from the Asian image they had in mind. I then asked what exactly was different. It turned out that, in their perception, most Asians are relatively quiet, not very expressive, rarely smile, and do not really place much importance on dressing appropriately for different occasions. After returning to my hotel, I thought carefully about what they had said. As I deeply love my country and my people, this topic naturally mattered a great deal to me.

I realised that many Asians still carry a rather feudal way of thinking. Some believe that being humorous means being flirtatious; speaking sweetly means being unfaithful; and dressing neatly and properly is often seen as a form of showing off. In reality, however, it is quite the opposite. Humour is actually an important form of social etiquette, especially in upper-class society—it makes communication more relaxed and helps people interact without hurting others’ self-esteem. Speaking nicely does not mean deception; rather, it is a positive way of expressing oneself, making others feel comfortable and at ease. Dressing appropriately for different occasions, meanwhile, shows respect for both people and places, and reflects basic courtesy and upbringing.

From these observations, I came to realise that our education system has not systematically taught students proper body language, basic dining etiquette—such as table settings and seating arrangements, including the correct use of cutlery and proper behaviour during meals—as well as how to dress appropriately for different occasions.

For example, formal official dinners require tailcoats, while professional and business events call for well-matched suits. Clothing coordination itself is a form of etiquette. However, many men often make mistakes when it comes to shoe pairing. Dress shoes are generally divided into four main categories: Oxford, Derby, Loafer, and Monk Strap. Classic colours come in three types—black, brown, and burgundy. Different occasions require different shoe styles and colours, along with matching rules for socks. Business casual has its own proper way of dressing; beach style also follows its own logic; and when exercising, sportswear should naturally be worn with sports shoes. Yet in Malaysia, most so-called casual dressing tends to lean entirely towards beach-style wear.

As for body language, during conversation, the type of eye contact used, where both hands are placed, how the feet are positioned, and sitting posture are all matters that require proper understanding. Recently, I have noticed that many young people sit with their feet placed on chairs when they are out in public. This is not only improper in appearance, but also shows a lack of basic manners, and unintentionally lowers one’s personal image and outward character.

General common sense is a basic requirement in first-world societies. By comparison, the level of common sense between first-world and third-world countries differs greatly, and this is closely linked to a country’s education policies and systems. I firmly believe that Malaysia’s Ministry of Education is aware of these issues and is actively working to reform and improve the weaknesses in our education system.

When it comes to language and communication skills, most people in second-world and third-world countries do not master them well, and often misuse words and examples. There is also a small group whose ability to express themselves is weak—they fail to convey meaning, and some even cause others to misunderstand them, leading to confusion. This is especially obvious among young people today. Perhaps their communication relies too heavily on modern technology, causing them to overlook and misunderstand the importance of spoken language. Many do not realise how important proper forms of address and language skills are, even though these skills could help them achieve better results with less effort. Over time, this naturally plants seeds of dissatisfaction, gradually forming a society filled with negative energy.

There is an old saying: “Know yourself and know others, and you will never be defeated.” Many Asians do not have the habit of thinking from another person’s perspective. As a result, they unknowingly lose social goodwill, and sometimes even cause others to dislike them without understanding why. People often say, “I am kind at heart, but I am not good at expressing myself.” In reality, the ability to express oneself is a basic skill that developed societies cannot do without. The reason developed societies often feel healthier, more comfortable, and more inclusive is precisely because communication skills play such an important role in daily life.

Etiquette and politeness are extremely important. According to recent official reports, foreigners generally view Malaysians as friendly, humble, and polite—something we Malaysians can truly be proud of. If the small shortcomings mentioned above are taken seriously and improved by Malaysians and the Ministry of Education, I firmly believe that Malaysian society can move closer to first-world standards. I do not think this goal is far away, and I truly believe Malaysians can achieve it.

Translated from original article source:

https://www.enanyang.my/news/20260119/Testimonia-Column/1137990