As Asians, How Can We Speak the Truth Wisely?

Everyone says they value honesty, but in reality, very few people are willing to accept uncomfortable truths. This is not unique to any particular country or culture. It is a common phenomenon in politics, families, workplaces, and everyday human relationships, especially in many Asian societies. It is difficult to find people who are willing to speak the truth. Apart from our parents, who often tell us the truth without reservation, most people hesitate because they fear damaging relationships, harming their careers, or jeopardising their future. While avoiding difficult conversations may preserve short-term harmony, in the long run it suppresses innovation and prevents society from making meaningful progress. Without honest feedback, how can we continue to improve?

As the ancient Chinese saying goes, good advice is often unpleasant to the ear. From the perspectives of sociology and anthropology, around 90% of people are unwilling to acknowledge and accept their own weaknesses. Many also lack the confidence to improve themselves and do not know how to make changes. This naturally leads them to reject honest feedback from others. Over time, they become overly satisfied with themselves and stop making progress.

How can we speak the truth wisely and build a better society? Those who know how to speak the truth wisely treat the pursuit of truth as a way of life rather than a performance. Truly wise people understand how little they know and remain humble enough to keep learning. They strive to develop a truth-seeking mindset, willingly admit their own mistakes, and cultivate the ability to think with analysis and understanding. A better society is not built by a handful of heroes delivering dramatic truths. It is built by ordinary people who consistently uphold the truth in their daily lives and express it with wisdom, reason, and tact. At the same time, those who listen also need wisdom. Honest communication can only flourish when both sides share a certain level of understanding and trust. Only then can a society that values truthful dialogue truly emerge.

Eastern traditions generally place greater emphasis on collective harmony and long-term stability, while Western societies tend to value individualism, logic, and innovation. Therefore, combining the strengths of both Eastern and Western cultures represents a higher form of wisdom. When people embrace knowledge from both traditions, they become wiser, more adaptable, and better able to develop new and integrated ways of thinking. This truth-seeking mindset can promote both personal growth and social progress. The integration of Eastern and Western perspectives allows each to complement the other’s weaknesses while avoiding ideological extremes and maintaining a balanced approach. For example, many developed countries have combined Eastern principles of governance with Western rule of law and market economies, becoming models of efficiency and integrity. This itself is a higher form of speaking the truth. It encourages people to recognise that every civilisation has its own strengths, to avoid being confined by any single tradition, to pursue truth with courage, and to accept criticism with humility.

Are human beings incapable of accepting criticism? The answer is no. People are naturally inclined to resist criticism, but they can also learn to accept it better. Criticism is often interpreted by the brain as a signal of rejection or denial, which is why we instinctively become defensive. Admitting our mistakes can feel like admitting that we are not good enough, triggering an emotional response that causes psychological discomfort. However, research has shown that people are capable of accepting criticism. Scientific progress itself has always been built on continuous criticism, reflection, and improvement. Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck introduced the concept of the Growth Mindset, which suggests that intelligence and basic abilities are not fixed but can be continuously developed through learning, effort, practice, and guidance. This theory has been widely applied in the field of education.

Most people are more willing to accept so-called truths when they come from a third party. For example, it is often difficult to accept honest feedback when it is delivered face to face. However, when similar advice is provided by artificial intelligence, many people accept its recommendations without hesitation and are more willing to trust its suggestions. Accepting advice, however, is only the first stage. The second stage is to analyse whether the advice is truly beneficial. The third stage is to ask ourselves what changes we should make and how we can continue to improve. Although this is a basic process, not everyone is able to go through it successfully.

Why does a fly never realise that it is unwelcome? Because it is completely unaware that it is regarded as a nuisance in its environment. It does not know that it is a fly and may even react with anger when others try to drive it away. Likewise, some people fail to recognise how their own behaviour affects those around them. Even when others offer gentle hints or point out their shortcomings directly, they are unable to accept them and remain trapped in self-satisfaction. If we do not know how to speak the truth wisely, we may also become like that fly. Sometimes, even when we speak the truth with good intentions, saying it at the wrong time or in the wrong way can create unnecessary discomfort for others. Speaking the truth is a lifelong practice that requires courage, patience, and wisdom. It is a profound art. It may not bring about change overnight, but it can help us become more self-aware, more composed, and gradually make society a better place. Do not be the fly that nobody welcomes. Instead, be someone who inspires progress.

Countries around the world are competing for technology, resources, and talent. However, what truly drives social progress has never been endless agreement. It is driven by people who are willing to ask difficult questions and by others who are willing to listen with humility. The truth is not always pleasant to hear, yet it is one of the greatest forces that moves society forward. No individual, no business, and no society can avoid making mistakes forever. But as long as we are willing to face the truth, accept different perspectives, and continuously correct our course, we will always have the opportunity to keep improving. True prosperity has never been built on endless applause. It is built on a culture that embraces the truth, respects facts, and has the courage to reflect.

Translated from original article source:

https://www.enanyang.my/news/20260720/Testimonia-Column/1320061